


All these pieces of them

by Eggplant_Boi



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, My First Fanfic, Reminiscing, Saints Row IV, Saints Row Spoilers, tender moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11894826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggplant_Boi/pseuds/Eggplant_Boi
Summary: Nastasia the boss of saints row and recently selected and unemployed president of what used to be the USA. is reminiscing about the old times, trying to make some sense of the past years only to be interrupted by her old friend and lover Johnny gat. Maybe with his help, she will be able to figure out all these pieces of herself that she seems to struggle with recently.





	All these pieces of them

It had been years since she joined the saints. Nastasia remembers how she had just gotten out of the hospital after having a serious throat operation, that had left her in a state where it hurt every time she talked, which resulting in her never really talking. not only did it hurt but she sounded so hoarse that everyone thought that she was a man, it probably didn't help that she only wore baggy clothes and short hair.

The funny thing is that she didn't even notice people thought that she was male. it was only after she woke from her coma she slowly realized what gender people had thought her to be. 

 

After the Coma her hair had grown out and her throat had fully healed. so everybody who known her from before kept commenting on her hair not really knowing what to say. 

The fucking laugh her and Gat had after having talked it out. the best thing to come out from the whole gender misunderstanding was that Gat never treated her differently, he never cared what gender she was only that she could kick ass. and that she could. 

 

But all wasn't sunshine and happy times when she woke. the absolute all consuming rage that she felt for being betrayed by her mentor, Julius. She had looked up to him, trusted him and he betrayed that trust. And it wasn't just him, Troy and Dex as well.

At times she'd been so angry that she couldn't even breathe from sheer rage. 

She couldn't help but clench her teeth as she remembered the anger. 

The anger was also part reason why she showed no mercy back then, that and the fear of letting her guard down only to be stabbed in the back again. yet even with her guard up she couldn't help but care for her new crew, her new family. but it was just like the first time around she lost people. Aisha and Carlos. Nat had always had the biggest respect and love for Eesh, Eesh was always so kind to Nat, never anything but fair. And Carlos the poor kid, he had risked so much for Nat. She got the brotherhood back good for him but just like with Eesh it wasn't enough. It was as if the world was dead set on taking everyone Nat had ever cared about, either by having them betray her or by them dying. But not Gat, no never Gat he was always there since the start. 

So when the day came and she thought he was dead, that she had lost him. she broke. 

Her feelings the very few that she had all went numb. the criminal empire that they had built together, all she had ever accomplished all of it was one big fat joke and her broken heart was the fucking catch line.

Tears ran down her cheeks, the memory of losing him was still too much to take. the memories still too vivid. 

With a swift motion she removed the tears, as she heard footsteps approaching. 

"Wouldn't want to look weak or human in front of anybody now" She whispered to herself. 

Leaning in the doorway was Gat smirking. The smirk quickly fell from his mouth when she turned to him. 

"You alright Nat" 

Nat loved that Johnny had taken to call her by her nickname instead of boss when the two of them entered their romantic relationship. 

"I'm fine just thinking about the old times"

It wasn't a lie she was fine, they were fine. when she found out he was alive it was as if she had been frozen all this time all these years. but now she was free and with freedom came back all the rage and hatred she had long since forgotten. but it was not all hate there were also sadness and happiness.

The sadness of having been living all these years without him, always blaming herself for his death.

And the happiness of him being alive and the thought of seeing him again, feeling him by her side again.

She had always known that there was something special between her and Johnny. but it was first when she got him back that she realized just how special he was to her. about a year after Eesh's death, her and Johnny started to flirt jokingly, all in good fun of course. or maybe she knew even then but just couldn't risk their friendship she wasn't sure. 

Whatever it was it all became clear when he was fighting by her side again. she loved him. as insane as that was to her she couldn't deny it.

Confessing to him was the single scariest thing she ever had to do. there were too many what if's, what if he only saw her as a friend what if he blamed her for not saving him sooner.

But the worst what if was what if he felt the same. what would they do she couldn't take Eesh's place, she wouldn't want to. looking back she felt quite silly, she didn't have to take Eesh's place not when she already had her own.

"Hey earth to Nastasia are you listen to me, hello"

Johnny's' hand was waving in front of Nat’s face. she blinked rapidly as reality checked in.

"Oh, Yeah, sorry I was in deep thoughts"

"I say you probably didn't hear a goddamn thing I said"

"No, do you mind repeating"

Gat made an overly exhausted movement with his arms, as to symbolize how much of a hassle repeating what he just said would be. Nat snickered at the absurdity of the face he was making. 

"Well it's good that at least one of us think this is funny" he laughed.

"Haha, sorry, I'm sorry it's just that I have a hard time grasping how a face as handsome as yours can look so ungodly ridiculous"

"I have you know that since the earth blew up I have been the number one most attractive man in the whole universe"

"Oh love, you have always been the most attractive man I have ever known, the earth blowing up didn't change that"

And with that, she took hold of his face and kissed it all over. first the brows then the cheeks and at last the mouth. she kissed him with such tenderness as not to break him, as if he would disappear right there in her arms if she wasn't careful enough. he in turn wrapped one of his arms around her waist, with the other he took hold of the back of her neck. and kissed her back harder and more passionate, almost as though he could read her thoughts, and meant to show her that he was real. to say that he wasn't going anywhere, not ever again.

They sat like that for a long while, until they had to move not that she couldn't sit like that forever. but the other crewmates have taken to trying to ruin their fun whenever they come across the two making out or worse. and Nat wasn't in the mood to give them the pleasure of ruining this special moment.

__

"you said that you were thinking about the good old times before I appeared, is that why you have been in a more melancholy mood lately"

"Yeah I guess, I mean it's not all of the reason, it goes a little deeper than that"

"Meaning," he asked

"Meaning that there is more to my mood swings than just feeling sad about the past. when you died I lost the last fuck I had to give. I became that big goof that the world wanted me to be so badly. so when the world exploded and I lost almost all of my new crewmates again I didn't care. I was so cold about it all, couldn't give less of a shit"

"When it then turned out you were alive, all of my long lost fucks and shits came back in full force"

"And now I am just trying to sort through them, get them to make sense. as cliche and stupid as it sounds I feel like I just gotten all of the pieces back that makes me, me. and I am having a hard time making them fit. I kind of feel like I have never really been me, I'm not even sure who me is anymore" 

It wasn't easy admitting all these thoughts she had carried for awhile. even to Johnny, maybe even especially to Johnny since his opinion is the one she cared the most about.

"If you want my opinion I think that the problem is that you're trying to separate all these parts of your life. you are no less you now than you were then. I mean sure you have change we all have but that's what time do to ya"

"Just look at me I used to think the most romantic thing you could do was to take your partner on a date to freckle bitches"

With that, Nat couldn't help but laugh.

"Haha, oh god that's right you used to do that haha"

Without any sort of warning, Johnny launched himself forward and nailed her to the floor with kisses.

"Whoa, what just came over you, love?"

"It has been such a long time since you last smiled so bright and genuine like that. I couldn't help myself you are the most irresistible when you smile like that"

He was right it had been a long time since she had laughed like that. normally she just laugh or smile to put up a front of still being her old self.

"God, Gat why is it that I am ever only able to make sense of myself when I am with you"

"Probably because we are each other's missing pieces"

This time it was her who couldn't help herself, she needed to kiss him to hold him tight, to let him know just how big her love is for him.

"How I adore you, my once missing now found piece" she whispered to him

"Sorry I couldn't hear that I was too deep in thought, mind repeating that" he softly laughed

"Jackass" she laughed just as softly

"That's me, for how could a piece of you be anything less than a total jackass"

"I guess some things never change"

"Or maybe "we" just never change"

If she ever had any fear that his love wasn't as true or strong as hers, that fear would have completely disappeared now. she was sure that with time and his help she would be able to figure out all these pieces of them.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading my very first fanfic, I hope that you enjoyed it. it would really help me out if you notice any glaring issues in the grammar or story that you message me. many thanks in advance :)


End file.
